Thursday, October 16, 2014

afraid to run

there's an old saying that when you plan, God laughs. i totally believe it. in my mind,  i had planned this year to be an epic year of 5k training and racing success. i was going to break my pr's and i was going to win races and it was going to be awesome.

and then the year actually played out, and since june of this year, i have been sidelined with an undiagnosed back injury that has lingered way too long. what we originally thought might have been the cause, a 5mm difference between leg lengths, doesn't seem to be the answer anymore. the pain is now closer to my spine versus to my hips, where i felt lot of the pain radiating earlier in the summer. but it's not just running that is hard, if not impossible right now. just about any physical activity can cause pain; elliptical, too much walking, squats, golf... all the things i would do to stay fit and active make me worry and make me afraid of making the injury worse. this is not a feeling or a state of being that i am used to.

and it has my morale extremely low. it makes it very hard to work on staying active or maintaining a base level of fitness. and of course, it's led to weight gain that i'm not happy with (especially when i'm about to start wedding dress shopping). 

i have a follow up appointment at the end of next month and i'm guessing i'll just continue to take it day by day until then. but man, starting with my weird foot injury last september, i have been struggling to run and injured for over a full year now. it's frustrating beyond belief and makes me afraid that i'll never be able to run again.

1 comment:

  1. Oh Alicia, I'm so sorry. :( I don't blame you for having a low morale, I would too. It sounds scary. I don't have any great advice and wish I could help, but all I can say is I'm thinking of you and hoping for better things!


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