Wednesday, August 13, 2014

the splitting of the jeans

last week tried to run me over with the struggle bus.

never mind that i had one blissful day at lake michigan to soothe away my overworked and tired soul... the peace i felt went right out the door when i returned to work the next day. 

this is pure michigan, folks

taking a vacation in my new job is really tough and it adds more stress to my life than if i had just stayed at work. needless to say, having to work for a few hours while i tried to make my way to the lake on my vacation day put me in a pretty sour mood.

and the rest of the week, aside from that blissful 24 hour lake period, followed suit. i had to drop my car off tuesday to the body shop, because some delightful person hit my car in the parking lot and decided not to leave a note. gee, thanks. so i picked up a rental tuesday and felt very thankful that i had insurance to help with all of this. 

enter thursday. my first day back from vacation. our company picnic is scheduled for the afternoon and my day turns into a crap show. i'm not able to go to the picnic because i have to stay at work and clean up messes, so to speak. my first work picnic in 6 1/2 years i've missed. i'm utterly bummed and frustrated. i drive home that night only to notice something in the corner of my eye in the windshield of the rental.

it's a freaking chip. a chip in the windshield of the rental. you've got to be freaking kidding me. insert anxiety attack here. i frantically look through the rental papers and sure enough, there is no chip marked on the damage report when i picked the car up. wonderful.

so now, i have my car in the shop and i will also now be liable for the chip in the windshield of this rental. i thought good karma was supposed to happen to me, not bad???

now it's friday morning. i'm dreading taking the car back to the rental place because i don't want them to say that i will have yet another deductible to pay (that would make for a total of $1,000 in deductibles between the two cars, for the record). who has $1,000 just lying around to flush down the toilet? not me. anyway, i'm getting ready for the day and i grab my favorite pair of jeans. they are my only designer brand jeans, 7 for all mankind, and i got them on clearance in las vegas at nordstrom (i remember all this because i was so excited to find a pair of these jeans on sale and that actually fit. my confidence soared when i bought these jeans). 

i'm tugging them on, as i usually do, because they are skinny fit and i hear, "riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip!"

my heart stopped. i'm pretty sure. i didn't want to look down at my jeans, but i did anyway. sure enough, my beautiful, favorite jeans had ripped. 


my poor, beautiful jeans

i flung myself onto the bed and sobbed for a solid twenty minutes. not quiet tears, but full on ugly baby crying tears. if you want to make a woman feel bad about herself and life, this is the way to do it, folks. few things tear at my self esteem than my favorite article of clothing ripping when i'm trying to put it on. i tried to call brandon for emotional support but he couldn't understand me over the sound of my hysterical sobs. that rip in my jeans was the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. i had reached my capacity for crap and it was coming out of my body in big, wet tears.

so what's the point of this story, of this post? aside from the relief i get from sharing, this story ends by me deciding to do something different in response to all the crap i felt had been dumped on me. even though i felt that i was at my wit's end (because i was), i decided that i would try to keep it together because there was no sense in letting all of this pull me apart. i had my 20 minute melt down, my 20 minute emotional release and then i needed to pick myself up, find another pair of pants and tackle my day. and that's exactly what i did. yes, i had a chip on my shoulder the entire day (and in the windshield of my rental car). yes, i still was upset and stressed and mad at the world. but i went to the rental car place and dealt with my windshield responsibility. i picked up my car and paid my deductible. i went to work and i managed the crap out of all the things i had to do. and when i got home that night, i looked at my poor pair of jeans and said a very sad goodbye. 

i think part of what makes me a strong person is the ability to have emotion and allow for the release when it is needed, but to also know when it's time to take care of business and not let something drag me down. i spent a lot of my life allowing myself to play the "victim" if you will. but it never got me very far or made me feel any better. by taking charge of my day that friday, i did feel a little more in control and less like a victim of bad things that had happened to me.

i should note that my insurance company ended up waiving my deductible, the rental car place had an amazing manager who saw my distress and only charged me to fill the windshield chip, and i managed to conquer all the craziness at work. when it rains, eventually the sun has to come out again :)


2 comments:

  1. Ugh, I hear ya and I'm glad in the end it all wroked out as well as it did....which is still crap but at least nota full on crap storm...

    Isn't it amazing how good a cry feels? It's such a release, I've tried to explain to my hubby that sometimes I just need to cry, he dosen't get it, I'm glad somebody does ;)

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  2. I was hoping there would be a happy ending to this story. I'm glad that the rental company was able to work with you on that. It still stinks that you had to pay for it. I hope the next week goes MUCH better for you. Buy a lottery ticket. You might win!

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