sunday morning, i woke up with the intention of doing some writing while fueling up for my 6 mile run. i picked a random notebook from my extensive selection of journals and opened up to find entries i had written in 2010 when i was training for my second attempt at a marathon. i spent about half an hour reading page by page, immersing myself in the memory of how i felt in each sentence. i laughed at my candidness, was delighted by my descriptions and word choice and overall marveled at how much i enjoyed reading what i wrote.
i haven't been blogging frequently. a lot of that has to do with how sick i am of being on a computer. these are words i never thought i'd say, folks. but it's true. i'm on a computer literally all day long at my job. there is nothing i do in my job that doesn't involve being in front of a screen or cramping my fingers on a keyboard. by the time i get home, i don't want anything to do with my laptop and since i can't magically make blog posts appear without the internet or a computer, i haven't made the extra effort to spend more time screen bound.
i like blogging. i love the blogging community. but, like all things, it has its pro's and con's. i feel like there is a very delicate balance between writing freely and blogging. although i try my hardest to be honest, open, authentic and vulnerable when i blog, let's face it: i ultimately control the content i decide to publish. i consider my audience. i consider how i want to come across and i edit accordingly. when i write freely in a journal or notebook, there are no boundaries. i assume no one will ever read what i write and therefore i am free to express whatever i want in whatever way i want. i hold nothing back. i don't question. and as a result, i think the quality of my writing is better.
so there's internal conflict. i want to blog openly (which is tough to begin with because i am a very guarded person), but the quality of my writing seems so much better when i can free flow on paper. plus, i really don't want to spend any more time than i already do on the computer (especially now that we are finally getting into a michigan summer)! i'm not sure where this puts me, except for in limbo on the whole topic.
what does everyone else out there think about this? are you free and open bloggers? do you write more openly in a journal, or notebook, for your eyes only? is anyone else sick of being in front of a computer, like i am?!