to run, or not to run with a buddy. that is the question.
i've always been good with running on my own. i like the time to myself - it is really one of the few moments in life that i actually take just for me. i like the time to think or not to think, to be able to stop or ease or pick up the pace at my leisure. running on my own is a treat, not something i dread or look down on with lonely shame.
but there are those days when i just want the company of someone next to me, stride by side. for the longest time, the only person i would ever run with was my sister. even though i ran next to plenty of folks in high school, as i got older, i found myself intimidated to run with anyone else. my sister was my only comfort zone and even that took some warming up.
and this was good for awhile until i started dating my boyfriend. brandon and i both had a passion for running but i was too scared to run with him. we'd make plans to run or train together and then i'd cop out last minute with some lame excuse just because i was being a chicken.
why? because there are so many elements that can go into a run - so many unknowns and many of them can be socially awkward and embarrassing. will i be in a funk today? will i have to walk? can i keep up with this person? will i be slowing them down? will they be slowing me down? what if i have to stop and walk? oh gosh, what if i have to stop and use the bathroom?! what if i can't stop to use the bathroom?? what if i get the running farts? oh please don't let me get the running farts ... [insert panic attack here]
this is why the thought of finding a new running buddy is so scary... sharing the running farts or sudden bathroom issues with my boyfriend was hard enough... now think about sharing that with a complete stranger? i'd rather do mile intervals, thanks.
but there are days when i'd really like a solid running buddy, or buddies, to pound the pavement with. my sister and my boyfriend are awesome and i'm glad i have them to run with, but i'm missing part of what made me fall in love with running in the first place and that's the feeling of being part of a team, or a group; a circle of people to feel accountable for, to share the ups and downs with. i loved this about cross country and it is the one thing that i miss about my running life as it exists now.
i've decided to be more open to the thought of finding a running group/buddy in the area, but its harder than it sounds. i recently joined the local track club, so i'll start there first. who wants to be my running buddy? :)
i'd love to hear from you all: how do you feel about running buddies? do you have one? or are you a lone wolf? do you worry about socially awkward and embarrassing run moments like i do?