Monday, May 27, 2013

5k challenge: 5k #11 capitol memorial run

i'll get right to it.

i didn't pr.

*womp womp*

and i'm slowly getting over it. but it's hard. you work for so long for one goal and to not achieve it is just heart breaking, frustrating and disappointing. i have been rethinking all the details about what i might have done wrong or what i could have done better but the reality is, no matter how much i think about it or tear every detail apart, i can't change how i ran and i can't change the outcome. so what i must do is find the positive in the day, because there was lots to be positive about.

for instance...

i did place first in my age group, which scored me a first place medal!

posing with my medal during the awards ceremony

i did feel pretty good about coming home with some 5k blingy bling. so now you know the race outcome, i'll take a step back and talk about the race itself. for a 9am race about an hour and 15 minutes away, brandon and i got up at 6:30am and headed on the road around 7:15. i packed all my running fuel and had planned down to the minute when i would take each one. i ended up going with a combo of the gnc pro amp endurance and gu brew roctane for this race. it seemed to have been working for my past few runs so was the safest option at this point.

ultima, power ice, gel, gnc pro amp endurance and gu brew

due to my nervous stomach, we had to stop twice en route, but we still got to the race in time to pick up our bibs and meet my mom and dad to hand over moose watching responsibilities. i was excited to have my mom and dad in the crowd cheering us on. it was slightly reminiscent of my cross country days which made me feel the "holy crap i'm actually here to race" feeling just a tad bit more.

me, brandon and moose pre-race!

this race was small. i'm talking a little bit over 100 people small. so when i got there i started thinking about how foolish i felt, putting this race on a pedestal for the past few weeks with my glorified pr goal. i felt really, really dumb for putting so much emotional and physical work into a tiny race that everyone else just seemed to be there to enjoy. and then i had to mentally slap myself across the face and remind myself that this race could be a big goal for many other runners out there today. the size of the race doesn't matter - the heart of the runner does! i just had to get over my ego a bit.

the course was an out and back along lansing's river trail. i've run here many, many times (lansing is my hometown), so i loved being somewhere familiar. the weather was insanely perfect, hovering around 50 degrees. not too hot and not too cold. i couldn't ask for anything better, really. 

with a legit gun start at 9am, we were off! it was a tiny bit crowded in a beginning but that ended very quickly as everyone settled into their paces. i couldn't feel if i was starting off too fast or too slow, but something just didn't feel right. it was one of those runs where something just felt off and i couldn't put a finger on it. when everything comes together for a run, its a beautiful thing and you feel invisible. this was not one of those runs and i just knew in my gut that it wasn't going to be a pr day, no matter how positive i tried to remain. needless to say, the entire race was a mental game for me - forcing myself to not think about time and to remain focused and positive about just putting one foot in front of the other.

at the start of the race

when i got to a mile left to go, i was feeling the slow decline in my performance. i could feel my gu brew slowing inching its way back up and my stomach was feeling a little grumbly. instead of trying to pick up my pace i now had to focus on keeping the fluid in my stomach down. i knew i had the gu brew too close to race time and i even scorned myself for this during a warm up jog because i knew it was going to lead to trouble. in the last mile, a speedy little lady passed me and there was a girl in a teal shirt up ahead. i wanted so badly to catch the girl in the teal, but i couldn't. and i didn't want to let the lady pass me, but i did. i just didn't have anymore to give. 

getting to the finish chute was a blessing. the race director was calling off our names individually and it was so nice to have personalized encouragement as you're tearing to the finish line. seeing the time on the clock made my heart sink, but in the back of my mind, i knew all along this wasn't the best race i'd ever run. i had tried so hard - the race felt so hard - and to have a time 4 seconds slower than my personal best just made me feel defeated. shouldn't my time match the effort i put in?

busting a move to the finish line

breakdown of splits:

mile 1: 7:48
mile 2: 7:50
mile 3: 8:12
(according to garmin)

official time: 24:38
(according to bib chip)

but i have to get over the non-pr and move on because the race itself was incredible. it was small and personal. the race director was incredibly personable, down to earth and welcoming. he announced EVERY finisher's name, and congratulated everyone, down to the very last walker. he announced people who were running their first 5k ever and welcomed them into the running community. and that was the best part of this race for me. it reminded me of why the running community is so freaking awesome and nothing really matters beyond that. really. i watched medals being given out to runners and walkers of all ages (70+!!!) and speeds and sizes and genders and shapes and it was just so, so inspiring. running is so much more than a time on the clock and i just need to open my eyes to everything else around me and really take that to heart.

brandon placed third in his age group! we were both winners

t-shirt and first place medal

when all is said and done i would 100% do this race again. i have a medal i'm very proud to add to my collection and i have great sentiments and memories from the day. plus... this was the second to last race in the 5k challenge. i'm almost done!! can you believe it? i can't. time has seriously flown by....


3 comments:

  1. I am sorry you missed your PR by 4 seconds. However, so proud you won your age group and are having an amazing attitude about it.
    I cannot fuel during 5 or 10Ks or a puke, but I am also slower than you so maybe I don't need it as much. I hope you find something that you can use that doesn't bother you.

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  2. Thank you for all of the above. I am hoping I'll find something that cooperates with my body, too. Otherwise... I might have to make my own :) And that could get messy!

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  3. IT sounds like a great race! What a great way to announce everyone, small races can do that and I think it's important and exciting for everyone finishing! Sorry you didn't PR, but getting first in your age group is pretty awesome. I'm sure you'll have lots of opportunity this summer to expiriment with fueling combos!

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