Monday, April 22, 2013

why do i feel scared?

this past week started the speed work and interval part of my 5k training. the long runs are over and now its time to work on being fast.

my first interval run reminded me of why i prefer to be a distance runner. speed and i just don't pair very well. my body doesn't feel like it was born to be fast. maybe its my build (pretty tall and curvy) or maybe it's my lack of confidence that makes me feel that way.

either way, i found myself in a strange situation while doing my speed work wednesday night. i felt scared. i was scared that i wouldn't be able to do the workout. i was scared that i wouldn't be tough enough for speed. i was scared i wouldn't have what it takes to run my fastest 5k ever. 

where these scaredy-cat thoughts came from i have no idea. i had to mentally force myself to settle down. i kept reminding myself to relax, focus on this run. relax. relax, damnit! when i thought i could only do one mile interval, i was able to do the 4 i needed to complete for the workout. but i didn't feel proud or happy. i just felt worried that i wasn't going to be enough to do what i wanted to do come race day in may.


i'm not sure that i've felt this way before and if i have, i certainly don't remember it. i try to psycho-analyze why i felt this way, but i continue to come up with nothing. am i psyching myself out? is it self-sabotage coming back to haunt me? 

has anyone else felt this way, or had fear boil its ugly head during training? i'd love to get thoughts and hear about others' experiences. maybe it will help me through mine.


12 comments:

  1. I definitely have mental blocks that ruin my races. Physically I'm in great shape. It's the mental block. I think trying to stay positive is the best way to do it. I get scared that I can't finish. When we're doing track workouts, we take breaks between each repeat, even if it's only for a couple minutes. Then I have panic attacks thinking that I won't be able to finish them all in a row during a race. Not easy at all, but try to keep positive!

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  2. I've never felt scared of running stuff, but I'm with you on feeling like you're built for endurance, not speed. I just hate going fast!!!

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  3. I think I'd rather do speed work than distance work! Well, depends on how many intervals.. ;)

    I really struggle with running for any amount of distance over a mile.. but working on it!

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  4. I felt that way before I headed out for my 8 miler last weekend. I had convinced myself that there was absolutely no way I was going to be able to do this. At mile 2 I realized I felt pretty good and at mile 5 I realized I was actually doing this! I think we all have those moments when fear and self-doubt creep in, we just need to fight back and remind ourselves we can do anything!

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  5. Also hate going fast, haha. I get really nervous - like all day nervous - when I know I have an 800s workout on the track in the evening. I desperately want to break 2 hours in the half but sometimes I don't know I have it in me. And that might have to be ok!

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  6. That's exactly how I felt between my intervals! I think I'm going to have to find a positive mantra or something, and write it on my arm ... that way I can't ignore it!

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  7. Fast is out of my comfort zone. Slow and steady is comfort... so anything beyond that is scary! That makes sense. Sometimes I just need to break things down and it makes the fear seem less intense.

    I am so glad I have Mike create training plans for me. I wouldn't follow them either if it was just me being accountable for me. Knowing he is looking at them every week is a good motivator to keep pushing!



    That's awesome about your last half. You're speedy girl! Do you have another half planned? You should run the Detroit Women's Half with me :)

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  8. It is a different feeling, isn't it? I love feeling fast, but it is a whole different mental beast.

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  9. I just read your last post - you're doing great!!! Don't forget that. Every runner's journey is at a different pace and speed, and thats the beauty of it!

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  10. :) You're right. We can do anything!


    When I ran a 1/2 a few years ago (went to Chicago all by myself - I was so freaked out), I wrote "I can do this" on my arm. It totally helped me remember all the training I put in and that YES - I COULD DO THIS! Maybe I need to do that again...

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  11. Track workouts make me so nervous too! It's so weird! I think you can totally do a half in under two hours. You are training in such versatile conditions, I think that will propel you forward more than you know!


    It would be fun to pace together and try and beat 2 hours together. Maybe we could make that happen!

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  12. I don't know how I missed your reply but I just read this & its so funny that I was thinking the same thing about the Detroit Women's Half ;)

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