this past week started the speed work and interval part of my 5k training. the long runs are over and now its time to work on being fast.
my first interval run reminded me of why i prefer to be a distance runner. speed and i just don't pair very well. my body doesn't feel like it was born to be fast. maybe its my build (pretty tall and curvy) or maybe it's my lack of confidence that makes me feel that way.
either way, i found myself in a strange situation while doing my speed work wednesday night. i felt scared. i was scared that i wouldn't be able to do the workout. i was scared that i wouldn't be tough enough for speed. i was scared i wouldn't have what it takes to run my fastest 5k ever.
where these scaredy-cat thoughts came from i have no idea. i had to mentally force myself to settle down. i kept reminding myself to relax, focus on this run. relax. relax, damnit! when i thought i could only do one mile interval, i was able to do the 4 i needed to complete for the workout. but i didn't feel proud or happy. i just felt worried that i wasn't going to be enough to do what i wanted to do come race day in may.
i'm not sure that i've felt this way before and if i have, i certainly don't remember it. i try to psycho-analyze why i felt this way, but i continue to come up with nothing. am i psyching myself out? is it self-sabotage coming back to haunt me?
has anyone else felt this way, or had fear boil its ugly head during training? i'd love to get thoughts and hear about others' experiences. maybe it will help me through mine.