Monday, February 25, 2013

I deserve more (a Guest Post!)

I’m honored to guest blog for Alicia here! I’m Susan, and normally blog at {not so} suddenly susan.  My blog is my journey to find a balance of healthy living, my love of yoga, and our desire to be a family.

A few weeks ago I decided to stop pretending I could be accountable for myself, and walked back into a local Weight Watchers center. I paired that accountability in with my Jillian Michael's Body Revolution DVDs (which are AWESOME).   Since going back, I was super frustrated to not see that awesome huge loss the first week, like pretty much everyone does, that keeps them going.  Because this program isn't a shock to my body - there was no huge loss, in fact, it was a mere 1.8lbs.  I don't always eat poorly, I don't always sit on the couch instead of getting sweaty, so it was hard to see a tiny little loss. The voice in my head screamed, "a loss is a loss!!!" but it was hard to keep that momentum going.

The following week I knew I was going to be heading out of town for 3 days and then immediately back into another weigh in.  So I went on my trip knowing I would be dining out for three meals a day, but I packed healthy snacks so I wouldn't be starving by meal time. Those snacks however never made it into my bag and outside of the hotel room. I made poor choices out to eat, I was retaining water the entire trip (restaurant food has so much sodium, ya'll!) and I enjoyed dessert two nights out. No one likes to go into a weigh in knowing you gained weight. I stepped on the scale expecting the worst. A gain.  How is it, knowing you're going to gain and seeing the gain hurt so differently? Is it like I magically expected to lose weight from my choices?

I thought I would sit there pouting my whole meeting, and I realized, why? I did this. I did this to myself. I did not set up a plan for what I would eat or how I would distribute my points. I didn’t plan for how or when I would exercise.  I didn’t even plan before leaving for the trip by working my butt off and getting in a few sweat sessions.

As I left my meeting, I left feeling recharged.  I didn’t expect to feel this way. I thought I’d come home, pout that I gained and eat something crappy.  But I don’t deserve that. I deserve so much more, and it’s time I started acting like it. I deserve to have time in my day to work out, so that when I go to weigh in I can feel proud. I deserve to be healthy. I deserve to shop at whatever store I want and buy the clothes I eye longingly.

I got my workout schedule lined up & picked my day off.  I went to the grocery store and stocked up on my lunch items. I even scheduled two 5ks. This time it was all about me. I deserve to be selfish. This little bit of time being selfish helps me add to the quality of life I can spend and share with my family and friends.

My weightloss journey is 90% mental.  As I said before, I don’t always eat bad or sit around like a lazy person, I work hard to try and lose weight, but when I let my emotions and head games take over, it’s all downhill. Everyone has their own fight, and when I finally realized what mine was, I’m ready to fight.  I’m prepared to plan and set myself up for success, which is what I deserve!

I leave you with a quote to chew on:

huge thank you to susan for this beautiful post. susan has been a source of inspiration, motivation and sanity for me and i am forever grateful for her friendship! - alicia

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Getting comments feels as good as a freezing cold glass of Gatorade on a hot summer day. So don't be shy - share your thoughts & opinions! - Alicia