there's an old saying that your mom or some adult figure probably told you when you were younger, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." we tend to think about this saying in terms of what we say to others, but how often do we think about it in terms of what we say to ourselves?
last week was an emotional roller coasting for me, and most of that coaster was spent swaying in the dips. feeling stressed and overwhelmed triggered feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness. after coming home from work one day, brandon sat with me on the couch and told me to say something nice about myself, something i was good at, or something i liked about myself.
i couldn't come up with anything. my mind was blank, stretching, reaching for something i could say that said something about myself in a positive light.
for an hour or so, brandon more or less "coached" me through learning how to say things about myself that were positive, uplifting. it saddened me that i couldn't come up with anything, that i'm so closed off to giving myself any credit for the person i am. and the kicker is that when i don't give myself any worth or credit, or associate anything positive with myself, i'm essentially unable to visualize or place myself with anything else i see as positive. how can i see myself excelling at work, for example, if i don't think i have any work related strengths? or how can i crush my 5k pr if i believe i'm not good at anything! it just doesn't line up! in other words, what you think, is what you experience. self-talk can be self-fulfilling, even though you may not know you're setting yourself up for positive or negative experiences with how you speak to yourself.
i want to experience greatness. i want to experience happiness and self-love. i want the amazing life i dream about for myself. if i am unable to recognize and say good things about myself, i'm not going to give myself the chance to get to where i want to be.
so my goal for the week is to limit the negative thoughts, or at least, when i recognize them bubbling up, to shut them down. if i have nothing nice to say about myself, i'm not going to say anything at all. it's the first step towards self-love and getting me to where i want to be.
how can you work on self-love this week? are you able to bite your tongue when you know you're about to say something negative about yourself? how does it impact what you're able to accomplish?