every december since i entered the working world, i've dressed myself up in my finest cocktail gown, adorned the season's chic-est makeup and fussed over my blonde locks for my company's holiday party. every year i received nice compliments and thought i had clearly topped the previous year.
but this year, in 2012, i've topped them all. and that leads me to this motivation monday, which is celebrating the progress i've made over the years.
it's funny to take a look at myself all the way back to 2008. for one, i look a lot younger. you can tell i was just a baby out of college, excited to be at my first working soiree! for two, you can see through the years that my weight didn't really change, except for in 2010 and 2011 when i was at the very bottom of the depression hell hole (didn't take many pictures at holiday party 2011, hence no full length).
and now i'm looking at the picture from 2012, just over this past weekend. i look older (in a grown, mature way mind you) and i look the leanest and most toned i've ever been. i can confidently say that i am in the best shape i've ever been in (i even argue i was never this athletic in high school) and i am certainly at my fittest.
and i need to remember this. i need to take every moment to savor just how hard i've worked and just how strong i am. because even though i look at this picture, and even though i received the most beautiful compliments at this year's holiday party, i had not a glimmer of confidence inside me. i woke up that morning and weighed myself and was disgusted with what i saw. that spiraled into a fit of frustration and depression and though i worked really hard to fight through it, i just didn't feel the sparkle that everyone else saw in the girl with the rose gold dress.
someday i will. i want to feel it so badly.
but for today, i will focus on being aware of the progress i've made and know that it marks success for the hard work i've put in over the past year. it marks many pounds and inches lost. it marks many "can'ts" and "nevers" out the door. it marks the chance i've finally allowed myself to be happy with my life and who i am.
|shine bright like a diamond, holiday 2012|
so on this motivation monday, i am celebrating the progress. my progress.
i hope you'll celebrate yours, too, even if you need to force yourself to recognize it. sometimes that's all we can do in the present moment.