i found this on pinterest the other night and i need it. today. badly.
i've falling off the wagon and can't get back on! okay, i'm being slightly dramatic, but i stopped tracking last night, haven't tracked today and the laziness from the last few weeks is creeping in my veins more than i thought it would.
i have to refocus, and find that drive again. right now my fear of going back to the shape and condition i used to be (overweight, unhealthy) has me paralyzed from taking action to avoid going back to that state. i pinged (instant messaged) brandon in a frantic state over the noon hour for some reassurance, guidance and a slap of reality.
his icing/cake analogy (can you tell we love watching cake boss on netflix?) is pretty spot on. there's a quick way to do things that will be alright, but if you really take the time to craft yourself (or your cake), the patience and diligence pays off in a big, grand way.
i want a lifetime of being and feeling healthy, not just one month. its hard to keep this in mind when you have short term wins, like having various folks tell me how great i look when i haven't seen them in awhile. it feels like, "okay, isn't this enough?" and then its easy to slip into old bad habits because you feel complacent. but i don't want "enough" and i don't want complacent. i don't want modeling chocolate. i want dirty icing and a 7 tiered cake, damnit! and that's what i'm working for, that's what i have to keep my focus on, even on days when it seems like the wagon will never turn around and help me back in.
so right now, at 1:28pm on monday july 9th, i am going to pick my feet up, stop thinking about everything i've done up until this very second and start focusing on what i can do next to better myself and work towards my goals. progress.