Monday, June 25, 2012

the snowball effect

"when you're snowballing, you don't continue to snowball. you get off the snowball" - my insightful boyfriend, brandon

as you could gather from yesterday's post, sunday was a rough day of reflection for me. looking at my weight watchers tracker made me bitter and cranky. i cursed the food i ate. i cursed the weight watchers points. i cursed myself. i cursed weddings. i really wanted to be mad at everything and anything for the sorry state i was in.

during a conversation of planning meals for the week with my boyfriend, we talked about having delicious burgers from the fresh ground beef we got from msu farms. in trying to decide what day of the week we'd have them for dinner, my response was:

me: why don't we have them tomorrow? it doesn't matter anyway, i'm already screwed for the week.

brandon: when you're snowballing, you don't continue to snowball. you get off the snowball

how annoyingly honest of him. but its true. i sat for a second and thought about what he said, and he was right. if i'm well aware that i am snowballing out of tracking and food-in-mouth control, i shouldn't willingly continue to snowball. i need to politely get off the snowball and tell it i'm no longer along for that ride.

but this is easier said than done, right? i was so mad at myself for the past two days of sporadic eating that i just wanted to stuff my face with more greasy and sweet foods. we've all been there, to some extent. it's a bottom of the barrel feeling, with no visible ladder to climb out. i had to do a lot of deep soul searching to really think about what this "healthy habits" journey is about. and in truth, its not about being perfect in the first month of tracking. its about finding what works for me and what doesn't. and that happens over time. long periods of time. and the long periods of time lead to the life long habits, which is really what this is about. so what if the scale says i've gained this week? this weigh in doesn't determine my life long success. i am the only thing that determines my success!

so here's a big "c-ya later" to that ugly snowball. as of today, i've barrel rolled off of it, and am strolling down a fresh path.

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