Sunday, May 27, 2012

memorial day: honesty, shame, and a bloated tummy

its memorial day eve and i over did it.

i mean, really over did it.

try 52 points overdid it.

im embarrassed. ashamed. i feel physically sick in my bloated food stuffed tummy.

but you know whats weird? theres a small part of me that is actually proud of myself (and its not because i can totally polish off a bowl of my world famous guacamole or down a segrams wine cooler and get a good buzz).

why then, do i feel proud?

because at the end of the day, despite how mad and embarrassed i was of how much i ate, i sucked it up and still tracked my points. that takes guts.

its so easy to want to give up after one bad day, feel like a failure and just throw in the towel. and if you dont track one day, you sure as hell wont be wanting to track the rest of the week, right? one screw up and its over. i know that mentality too well.

but as much as it sucked to input everything i ate and watch my points rack up and my weekly points disappear, i somehow felt like a weight had been lifted. i chose to be in control - not the food in control over how i felt. and even though i didnt like what i saw tracked for the day, the shame started to roll off my shoulders as it doesnt feel so bad to have a bad day when you are brave enough to face it and put it on paper (or in your online tracker, seriously does anyone use paper anymore?).

so im here at 10:54pm on the sunday before memorial day, typing this blog post on the tiny keyboard on my phone to give encouragement to all of us who will have bad days. if you own your day, good or bad really, you own how you feel about your choices and you wont fall into the slippery slope of falling off the tracking wagon.

:) smile, tomorrow is always a new day! take what you learned in your 52 point day and make different choices tomorrow that will someday turn into mindless healthy habits (cheers to that)!

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